Welcome to Dildo Dildo,

...don't read this... buy something... Ive run out of chocolate biscuits!

Cough, cough, errrrmmm pay attention then...

Hello, and welcome to my brand new website that puts the fun back into dildo shopping :)

Hold on... when was dildo shopping not fun... ooooo errmmmmmmmmmmmmm ok, I'll start again welcome to Dildo Dildo, we are a brand new website that put the "do" back into "Dildo"!... Nah that doesnt make any sense either!

Maybe I'll just say howdy and I hope to offer you lovely ladies some super fun pieces of rubber coated batteries at great prices... can you tell im not great at this :)

I hope you have fun on my website, i tried to make it a bit more fun that the usual, if you have any ideas to improve my site feel free to send a little message — if you're gonna moan about something forget it, ha ha!

If youre a charity and want a free dildo for a Sunday raffle youre doing forget it also — come on, what's Aunty Berols face gonna look like when she wins a black mambo? What do you mean she'd be smiling from ear to ear, ha ha... is this the sort of thing i should be writing on my home page, cough cough... stop distracting me and lets get back to the professional bit... returns and stuff, yeh we got all that... hold on... do i really want to do returns for dildos... eeewwww! I'll have to work on that one... check back later...

Errm im going to try and add new items each week depending on how much chocolate biscuit fuel I can get in me on a Monday... god dont you hate Mondays... although I come to work and get to play with dildos all day, so is actually quite a laugh... what do you do? Ha ha, oh dear ive lost the plot again, shouldnt have had that extra glass of wine before thinking I'll do that home page now...

Anyway, I went on a date last night and we were getting on well, then all of a sudden half-way through she suddenly turned to me and said, "Oh by the way... I CAN TALK TO DEAD PEOPLE"!!!!

I am not joking reader... then she pulled out a guitar from a case she had with her and started playing to me a song she said she she had written just for me about my dead grandmother... in front of the whole pub!

Daniel your such a great guy id like you to know,

That ill never love you as much as my dildo,

You might be sweet and fun... your names Mr Right,

But my dildo can go for ten times a night,

Oooooooooooooooooooooo Mr Dildo man,

Lets make love and burn some calories,

Oh and daniel before you go.............

.....can you get me.... some... batteries!!!!!!!!!!!!

it was at this point I thought Id start a dildo shop for non nutters! This doesnt make any sense, Im going to bed...

Lots of love

Daniel

Your dildo expert — someone please come up with better title, errrrm how about....

Lots of love

Daniel

Dildologist — yeh I like that one :)

Big kiss for anyone who made it this far xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx